In the realm of the me mind emotional obsessive, quotidian somewhat random but regular thought(s) a dialogue got started and a narrative got constructed between what wasn't always evident but never the less very real somehow. The thing that got named sometime turned the table naming the thing... deciding that was alright, the action and the words could and sometime should get reversed. The mirror effect of making the reflected object, diminished in its true size yet accurately so. Things were indeed abstract but naturally had to be tied, anchored to something, representing maybe that which was in between what might want to be talked about and what in fact couldn't be said---- at least not any other way. The organic repeating and multiplying itself, trying to be born, emerging, manifesting itself by going into the psychic shadow world of the within. Dark structure of pure real space made up of prescient marks which accumulated to the right pitch of density and could form a shiny beast or two. It was like being caught living on the side of the feminine in a secret hole that spread over everything naturally winged. I knew I was trying to mark time and trying to fill up any space, every bit of it, the horror vacuii. This tendency for the romantic struck me being at odds with the spread of any kind of the usual ruling weight of conceptual thought; it seemed more like being in the clouds with feet stuck in the sand... I had no real concept at all, more like just tropes and predilections that stood there weird, orphaned, waiting to be mined and to attempt to leave a distinctive trace. The further I reached and more I did the more inadequate things became, only sometime did I manage by labor and chance to touch something perfect, beautiful. The story of the dog chasing its tail, determined, furious. And so I just keep on trying.... like the last dream half-remembered but maybe completing on occasion those that had come before. It was as you had to live your life again twice, with all the retrospect and hindsight but with the same static inabilities to affect the outcome differently, it still managed to slip beyond your grasp----you were still at sea with it all.